Let’s get real — every couple has their quirks, and sometimes, those quirks become turn offs. If you’ve ever wondered, “What is a turn off?” or worried about the biggest turn offs in a relationship, you’re not alone. At Vuln Love, we believe that talking about turn offs (and turn ons!) is a powerful way to build trust, intimacy, and a sense of “we’re in this together.” Here’s what you need to know about turn offs, why they matter, and how our app helps couples turn awkward moments into deeper connection.
What Is a Turn Off? Why Do They Matter?
A turn off is anything — big or small — that makes you feel less attracted to your partner, emotionally or physically. It could be a habit, a behavior, or even a vibe that just doesn’t sit right. Turn offs in a relationship aren’t just about pet peeves; they can signal deeper issues like unmet needs, mismatched values, or communication gaps.
Research shows that negative traits (turn offs) often have a bigger impact on relationship satisfaction than positive ones (turn ons). According to a comprehensive survey, over half of people would end a relationship with someone who seemed perfect — except for one major turn off. (source)
The Biggest Turn Offs in Relationships
Let’s break down the most common turn offs, based on recent studies and expert insights:
1. Poor Hygiene
This is the classic deal-breaker. Surveys show that body odor is the number one turn off for nearly three-quarters of adults. Bad breath and yellow teeth also rank high on the list. (source)
2. Bad Temper & Dishonesty
A short fuse and lying are two of the biggest turn offs in a relationship. Trust is everything — if it’s broken, attraction fades fast.
3. Poor Communication
Not talking, shutting down, or being passive-aggressive? That’s a major turn off. Healthy communication is the foundation of intimacy.
4. Selfishness
Whether it’s always making things about you or not caring about your partner’s needs, selfishness is a huge turn off. As one woman put it, “When a guy doesn’t seem interested in pleasing you and it’s all about his satisfaction, that’s a massive turn-off.” (source)
5. Financial Irresponsibility
Money matters. Nearly 8 in 10 Americans report having financial turn offs, and 25% say money issues could end a relationship. (source)
6. Cheating
Infidelity is one of the biggest turn offs, especially for women. It’s not just about sex — it’s about trust and respect.
The Psychology of Turn Offs (And Why They Hit So Hard)
Turn offs aren’t just about being picky. Psychologists say we’re wired to notice red flags as a way to protect ourselves from hurt. That’s why negative traits often stick out more than positive ones.
Turn offs can lead to:
- Less intimacy and connection
- Communication breakdowns
- Resentment and frustration
- Even breakups, if left unaddressed
But here’s the good news: Talking about turn offs can actually bring you closer. When you’re honest about what bothers you (and listen to your partner’s turn offs, too), you create space for growth, understanding, and real intimacy.
Turn Ons and Turn Offs: Two Sides of the Same Coin
It’s not all about what turns you off — knowing what turns you (and your partner) on is just as important! A sense of humor, good hygiene, thoughtfulness, and emotional intelligence are some of the top turn ons, according to relationship experts. (source)
When you know both your turn ons and turn offs, you can:
- Communicate your needs clearly
- Avoid misunderstandings
- Build a relationship that feels safe, sexy, and fun
How to Talk About Turn Offs (Without Starting a Fight)
Let’s be honest — telling your partner about a turn off can feel awkward. But it doesn’t have to be a disaster. Here’s how to keep it real and kind:
- Pick the right moment. Don’t bring up turn offs in the middle of a fight.
- Use “I” statements. Say, “I feel disconnected when we don’t talk about our day,” instead of, “You never listen.”
- Focus on behaviors, not character. It’s about what’s happening, not who your partner is.
- Be open to feedback. You have turn offs, and so does your partner. Listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.
How Vuln Love Helps Couples Tackle Turn Offs
At Vuln Love, we know that talking about turn offs (and turn ons) can feel scary. That’s why our app is designed to make these conversations easier, lighter, and even a little fun.
Here’s how we support you:
- Daily connection practices: Simple prompts and activities to spark honest talks about what you love — and what you’d love to change.
- Weekly date ideas: Try new experiences together and discover what brings you closer.
- Personal insights: Our relationship checkup helps you spot patterns and celebrate progress.
- No advice, just support: We’re not here to judge. We’re here to help you feel heard, valued, and connected.
For less than the cost of a single therapy session ($120 for 12 weeks), you get a full relationship wellness program — backed by science and designed for real couples. Try Vuln Love now.
Real Talk: Addressing Turn Offs in Everyday Life
- Hygiene issues? Make self-care a shared ritual — think spa night or brushing teeth together.
- Communication problems? Use our daily prompts to open up, even about the tough stuff.
- Financial stress? Set goals together and celebrate small wins.
- Feeling disconnected? Our weekly experiences help you rediscover what you love about each other.
FAQ: Turn Offs in Relationships
What is a turn off in a relationship? A turn off is anything that makes you feel less attracted to your partner, emotionally or physically. It can be a habit, behavior, or attitude.
What are the biggest turn offs in a relationship? Poor hygiene, dishonesty, bad temper, selfishness, poor communication, and financial irresponsibility are some of the most common.
How do I talk to my partner about turn offs? Pick a calm moment, use “I” statements, focus on behaviors, and listen to your partner’s perspective.
Can turn offs be fixed? Absolutely! Most turn offs are about habits or communication. With honesty and effort, couples can address them and grow closer.
How does Vuln Love help with turn offs? Our app guides you through gentle, science-backed practices to talk about turn offs, build trust, and create new habits together.
Ready to Turn Things On?
Turn offs don’t have to be deal-breakers. With the right tools, they can be doorways to deeper understanding and connection. At Vuln Love, we’re here to help you talk, laugh, and grow — one honest conversation at a time.
Take the first step toward a stronger, more loving relationship. Start your 12-week challenge with Vuln Love today.
Further Reading
- Relationship Deal Breakers: What Are Your Turn-Offs? (Psychology Today)
- Top 10 Turn-Offs Revealed (Daily Mail)
- Financial Turn-Offs That Can End a Relationship (CNBC)
- How to Talk About Turn-Offs in a Relationship (Verywell Mind)